Did you know that August 4th is Single Working Women’s Day?
“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”
Hell fucking yes! I couldn’t agree more with this quote!
I have chosen to remain single not because there is a lack of willing suitors in this respect, but because in all honestly, life is a hell of a lot easier without the demands of another adult to take into consideration.
I speak to women all the time who are also embracing singledom as a conscious choice in their lives and who are more than happy with their decision. It makes me mad that there are still some prehistoric ideas around that you cannot be happy if you are not part of a couple.
I inwardly groan at well meaning friends who say ‘but you deserve to find a nice man because you deserve to be happy’ with the fact that I am perfectly happy because I don’t ‘have a nice man’ being conveniently glossed over.
I do not need a relationship to validate my life, my happiness or any aspect of what I do.
In fact I have noticed quite the opposite as it has been whilst being involved in serious long terms relationships when I have doubted myself the most. When struggles with my confidence, my self-esteem and capabilities have been at the highest.
There is a lot to be said for standing your own ground and sticking to what you believe in and I wholeheartedly believe that my life is better because I am a single working woman. I have no one to berate me, no one to question me, no one lurking in the background being obtuse and unsupportive in my ventures.
And it is fantastic! I make my own decisions, I walk my own path, dance to the beat of my own drum and do that whilst working hard, enjoying my life and being enormously happy with my single status.
I know and have known so many friends who stay in utterly toxic and miserable relationships because they don’t think they would be able to cope on their own. Working, looking after children, running a home and all that that encompasses.
Women are incredibly resilient and we are far stronger than we often give ourselves credit for.
I have experienced some very unpleasant situations that have come about solely because of the relationship that I chose to be in. Yes I have made some terrible choices in men in the past and there is absolutely no denying that factor.
Maybe if my ‘man picker’ was not just a little broken but completely fucked I would have a different opinion when it comes to this stuff.
I choose to believe that all of my relationship experiences have led me to where I am today. I am proud to be not just a Single Working Woman, but a Single Working Mum.
I am proud that I am showing my children that no matter what shit comes your way you can rebuild yourself and your life into whatever you want it to be.
I take immense pride that despite some intolerable circumstances I have resurfaced and can hold my head high in the knowledge that I am a stronger person.
I love the fact that I have repeatedly clawed my way back onto an even keel when even I thought that I didn’t have the energy to carry on, even just for one more day.
When people tell me that ‘they don’t know how I do it’ it amazes me because I don’t see anything extraordinary within myself. But here’s the thing, we are all special, we are all worthy and we are all incredible in our own unique ways.
Single Working Mums get a huge amount of bad press which is hugely unfair.
We do the jobs of two people, we bring home the bacon, we raise the children, we look after the home, we manage the finances, hell we even go up in the loft, do the decorating, mow the grass, put the bins out, you name it, we do it!
Single handed, often with very little or no support at all, so the next time you feel inclined to bash a Single Working Mum for not being in a relationship why not instead ask her if there’s anything you could do to help her out? Baby sit for night, grab her a bottle of wine, buy her some flowers or chocolate, tell her how awesome she is for managing to spin a thousand plates and rarely letting any of them topple to the ground in a thunderous crash.
Why not do that today?
In recognition of Single Working Women’s Day!
The History of Single Working Women’s Day.
Single Working Women’s Day was created by Barbara Payne with the intent of recognizing the importance of these women and raising awareness of this fact in the public eye. Their role has grown ever more important as being a single woman is no longer a stigma in many countries, and instead, is often encouraged or respected as these individuals work their way through life on their own. In spite of this, theirs is not a life free of the challenges brought on by generations of stigma.
The importance of single working women to our economic and social growth cannot be understated. Every year millions of single working women work in industries all over the world, doing the work for themselves and living for themselves. Single Working Women’s Day reminds us how important each and every one of them is, and that it’s not just men that make the world go round.
How to celebrate Single Working Women’s Day.
It all starts with going up to the single working women in your life and telling them how much you respect them for the hard work they do every day. If you’re one of them, you need to give yourself a much deserved day of leisure, you’ve certainly earned it! Single Working Women’s Day is your opportunity to recognise and be recognised for everything you do, and how difficult it is to make it in a world where women still earn 80% of what men do for the same job at the best of times.
It’s a sad fact that women are still not looked upon as equals in the corporate world.
Women often get passed over in favour of a man and women still get paid less for many roles than their male counterparts.
It’s not right, it’s hideously unfair and it will only change when more women, single or not have the confidence to stand up for what they are rightfully entitled too. Women have been campaigning for equal rights across many areas in life for years and although it is true that much progress has been made, we aren’t quite there yet.
I have been looked down on in some meetings by men and had comments made to me that I am certain would not have been vocalised had I been a man. What makes it ok for a man to belittle a woman in a particular business, but not a man?
Whether you are male or female should not be an issue in the times we live in, unfortunately however it seems that this is still a discerning factor when dealing with some people.
If you’re reading this and you don’t fall into the Single Working Women category I invite you to consider how you view those who do. Do you judge them differently to a man in the same position and if so why?
How would you feel if you were looked upon differently within business just because of your gender? I’m guessing you probably wouldn’t like it that much. So please take a moment to give some thought to this and draw your conclusions of a person based not on their sex but on their capabilities as an individual.
Single Working Mums are amongst the hardest working group of people you could ever hope to meet, because we have no choice other than to be that way. Get to know the person, discover what their story is, understand their passions and what drives them to be the best version of themselves that they can possible be.
I think you would be astounded to learn what obstacles many have faced and that despite adversity they rise to any challenge they come up against.
You may even learn a thing or two! So take the Single Working Woman and celebrate her for all she is worth! Not just on August 4th, but every day!